Outside my old work there is a large council owned car park. Parking runs down either side, and again down the centre of the parking lot. This parking lot is a target for ticket inspectors. It is ticket parking for 2 hours maximum and clearly signed. One of my colleagues had a discussion with a customer, "Do you know if the centre has 2 hour parking, because I can't see a sign?"
"I think it does."
"Well, I can't see a sign...I'm sure it'll be fine."
"I'm pretty sure it's still under the same restrictions as the rest of the parking lot."
*Lady walks off*

Another incident involved a woman storming into the restaurant demanding to speak to an owner or manager about dealing with her parking fine. When she was told the restaurant did not own the parking lot, she continued to demand that the we pay her fine.

Possibly one of the best complaints I've ever received:

"This Custard Tart isn't what I expected. It has too much custard"

A man comes in, stares at the 'CASH ONLY' sign, and asks 'I'm sorry, I don't remember. Do you have EFTPOS?'

My work serves a salad Niçoise, we don't use the cos lettuce, and we use canned tuna (not as nice, I know). For most people who look at it, it is predominately a potato salad with some egg, tuna, tomato, olives, and green beans.

I had a customer order the Niçoise as, 'the potato salad.' I explained that it had tuna, she was fine with that. And later I overheard her complaining that there was too much potato...

My colleague received a complaint about our jug of refrigerated water.

"This water tastes funny."
"Oh?"
"Like it's been in a fridge."

I work at a Cafe and Patisserie in Melbourne. This blog will just be anecdotes and observations of the customers within my workplace, as well as any I, or my friend have experienced. If you have an especially moronic story send it in, and I'll post it.