These two happened on Christmas Eve 2012

"I want a flat white with a croissant, an extra hot latte, and a skinny flat white with a croissant."
"So, that was two croissants all up?"
"No. A flat white with a croissant. An extra hot latte. And a skinny flat white. With a croissant"

We were five minutes away from closing when this woman rolled in with her friend, it had been a long, busy, horrible day. She was our last customer for the day, there had been some rude ones. Both me and my colleague were standing by the register, but the cafe was packed up and we had been cleaning. Oh, golly-gee.

"I'm sorry, we're closing in five minutes, we're only doing take away orders."
"How long until you close?"
"Five minutes."
"Oh.Well, I don't want anything. *Turns to friend* Do you want anything?"
"Oh yes, I think I'll get a cappuccino."
"So, one cappuccino to take away?"
"No. She would like one cappuccino to take away."
At this point both me and my colleague let out little snorts of laughter and I walked away to resume cleaning. The woman confronted my colleague demanding, "Why are you laughing? What are you laughing at?" My colleague attempted to explain the situation... but to no avail.